Category Archives: Grief

Ten Years Gone

Ten years. On May 6, 2011, Lara Borowski, my first love and best friend, died after a month of being sedated and intubated in the Stanford Hospital ICU; after her body rejected the lungs she’d received in a transplant five … Continue reading

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A Flying Lesson

It was mid-afternoon and the sky was night black and offering no sign of brightening. Rain fell so hard I could hear it on the roof of the terminal. I was in the bar, along with what felt like everyone … Continue reading

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Dear Lolly, You were 19 when I met you, in 1999, on the eve of your sophomore year of college. That was more than 16 years ago. There are kids out there who weren’t out of the womb when we … Continue reading

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Four Years

Dear Lolly, It’s been four years since I watched you take your last breath. Sometimes that seems like a flash in the pan. Other times it feels like an eternity. When I sit down to write this and I think … Continue reading

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What You Missed While I Missed You

Dear Lolly, It’s been five years since I last saw you on your birthday. You were turning thirty. We’d broken up a few weeks before, but it was a big milestone, and I wanted to celebrate it with you, at … Continue reading

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Sasha

You know how newspapers write obituaries for famous people and keep them on file, waiting for the celebrities to die? Well, I knew this day was going to come, but I didn’t do that. I couldn’t bring myself to write … Continue reading

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May 6

On May 6, 2011, I was in the Intensive Care Unit at Stanford Hospital when Lara Borowski died. She was surrounded by friends. Tom Petty was playing on the radio. I drove back to my Mom’s house, about an hour … Continue reading

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Ein Name Macht Frei

It is raining. I’m riding on what the woman at the bus station in Krakow called, in surprising English, a minibus. Maybe five rows of seats. I am sitting next to an Asian woman. She must be going where I’m … Continue reading

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What I Think About on New Year’s Eve

For most people, New Year’s is a time for optimism, a time to look forward, to think about things they’d like to accomplish in the coming year, things they’d like to improve about themselves, and maybe the world they live … Continue reading

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I Love You More

My favorite Beatles song is In My Life. I love the song because, even though it’s a love song, it has a melancholy feel, as John Lennon recalls places, friends, and lovers from his childhood, things he’ll never forget, but … Continue reading

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