Category Archives: football

2015 Super Bowl Pick

Well, as I predicted a couple of weeks ago, here we are: Pete Carroll vs. Bill Belichick. The Seabitches vs. the Massholes. The PEDhawks vs. the Deflatriots. I’m not sure it would be possible for there to be a less … Continue reading

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2015 Conference Championship Picks

Last year, my Conference Championship weekend picks column clocked in at almost 2,000 words. That’s what happens when my favorite team plays its blood rival, with an undercard featuring what may have been the final Peyton Manning–Tom Brady playoff matchup. … Continue reading

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2015 Divisional Round Playoff Picks

Well, last week’s picks could have been better. Thanks to the incompetence of a few key people, I nailed Carolina (thank you, Ryan Lindley!), Indy (thank you, Andy Dalton!), and Dallas (thank you, NFL referees!)—but I missed on Baltimore. And … Continue reading

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2015 Wild Card Round Playoff Picks

With the Niners flushing their season (and most likely their hopes for the next decade) down the toilet over the past month, this is the least invested I’ve been in football in about five years. This weekend’s slate of games … Continue reading

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Niners Week Seventeen Awards: The Now Is Our Winter of Discontent Edition

I cared less about Sunday’s game than I have any Niners game since Jim Tomsula (our presumed coach-in-waiting) last was head coach (the final game of the 2010 season, another meaningless contest that the Niners won). I honestly don’t have … Continue reading

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Niners Week Sixteen Awards: The We’re Through the Looking Glass Now Edition

Editor’s Note: I refused to allow this shitty team to ruin my Saturday night, so I passed the recap responsibilities to my attorney, former guest blogger, basketball nemesis, and fellow suffering Niners fan Josh. I don’t want to steal his … Continue reading

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Niners Week Fifteen Awards: This is the End, My Friend Edition

Editor’s note: Since I couldn’t bear to watch the inevitable bloodbath that was last Sunday’s 49ers trip to Seattle (apparently it wasn’t that bad, but still), I called in another guest blogger: my buddy Matt. He’s my freshman year college … Continue reading

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