Category Archives: Sports

2015 Divisional Round Playoff Picks

Well, last week’s picks could have been better. Thanks to the incompetence of a few key people, I nailed Carolina (thank you, Ryan Lindley!), Indy (thank you, Andy Dalton!), and Dallas (thank you, NFL referees!)—but I missed on Baltimore. And … Continue reading

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2015 Wild Card Round Playoff Picks

With the Niners flushing their season (and most likely their hopes for the next decade) down the toilet over the past month, this is the least invested I’ve been in football in about five years. This weekend’s slate of games … Continue reading

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Niners Week Seventeen Awards: The Now Is Our Winter of Discontent Edition

I cared less about Sunday’s game than I have any Niners game since Jim Tomsula (our presumed coach-in-waiting) last was head coach (the final game of the 2010 season, another meaningless contest that the Niners won). I honestly don’t have … Continue reading

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Niners Week Sixteen Awards: The We’re Through the Looking Glass Now Edition

Editor’s Note: I refused to allow this shitty team to ruin my Saturday night, so I passed the recap responsibilities to my attorney, former guest blogger, basketball nemesis, and fellow suffering Niners fan Josh. I don’t want to steal his … Continue reading

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Niners Week Fifteen Awards: This is the End, My Friend Edition

Editor’s note: Since I couldn’t bear to watch the inevitable bloodbath that was last Sunday’s 49ers trip to Seattle (apparently it wasn’t that bad, but still), I called in another guest blogger: my buddy Matt. He’s my freshman year college … Continue reading

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Niners Week Fourteen Awards: The Al Davis Bowl Edition

With the possibility of a playoff berth looking remote, the Niners had one mission left this season: Do not publicly embarrass yourselves by losing to your pathetic, 1-11 cross-Bay rivals. Sadly, they couldn’t even manage to pull this off, falling … Continue reading

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Niners Week Thirteen Awards: The Niners Ruined Thanksgiving Edition

This one’s gonna be short. In fact, I’m only handing out one award this week. The Al Davis Award (Dysfunctional Football Team): The Santa Clara Raiders In a season in which my once proud San Francisco 49ers have gradually devolved … Continue reading

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Niners Week Twelve Awards: The Guest Blogger Tierney Cooke Edition

Editor’s note: I was out of pocket this weekend, so I recruited the biggest Niners fan I know, my friend Tierney, to write the recap. She killed it—to the tune of 2,000 words! I hope y’all enjoy reading this as … Continue reading

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Niners Week Eleven Awards: The Continuing to Win Ugly Edition

The Niners were in my backyard this weekend—well, across a couple of rivers and over in New Jersey anyway—but I kinda blew my wad on the whole trip to New Orleans thing, and besides, I’ve never been one to sit … Continue reading

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Niners Week Ten Awards: The Live From New Orleans Edition

Longtime readers know that I love New Orleans and will take any chance to head down to the bayou. So, when my buddy Matt texted me a couple of months and asked if I wanted to go to NOLA for … Continue reading

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